Reclaiming My Body

Navel piercing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I've touched on the fact that I got started in body modification as a way to reclaim my body following abuse and it is something people ask me about. They can't really understand why it would help, or they don't believe that it is a good reason for a piercing or a tattoo. The only visible modification I have is my ears which are stretched a little bit, but I can't goo further because of work. I do also have my navel and my tongue pierced and I have a small tattoo on my hip of the words 'memento mori, memento vivere' which is Latin for 'remember your mortality, remember to live'. However, no-one sees those. I had them done for me, not the way they look.

It can be difficult to explain how they helped me to reclaim my body. I suppose in some way, my past meant that I had no control over what happened to my physical body and in surviving the ordeal I had to do something to take back by body and reclaim it as my own. In making the choice to adorn my body with piercings I was taking control of it for the first time in a long time. I was marking it as my own. My navel piercing was the first body modification I got. I had never even had my ears pierced before that. I think part of the healing process was that it hurt. Body piercings are painful, anyone who says otherwise is lying! However, it was a short lived pain and it was something I could see healing before my eyes. It served as a reminder that no matter how much I am hurt, I can get through it. I can heal myself. I never allowed my teenage trauma to break my spirit, but I did allow it to break my body. I never felt able to be comfortable in my own skin. I never dressed up or wore makeup or did anything to draw attention to my body. However, in making the choice to have a piercing, I felt like I was saying “You know what? This is my body and I am going to say what happens to it.” I truly believe that it worked because around 5 months after my first piercing I met my boyfriend and it was the first time I was able to be myself and actually relax around a man. I'm not saying a piercing will sort your love life out, but it did give me the confidence that when I met the right guy I didn't go running. I soon got my ears pierced, then my tongue and then stretched my ears.

With the tattoo it may be a little easier to explain. For many years I lived my life afraid. I was scared that if I took a risk on anything I would get hurt and I hadn't yet realised that it was ok to get hurt because I would heal. I was so afraid of getting hurt that I isolated myself and I didn't live my life. I don't think I have ever been suicidal, but I often think that with how I failed to have any resemblance of a life I might as well have been dead. It was my boyfriend who inspired the tattoo. After many dates, he was ready to take our relationship to something more serious and I felt the need to confess, because I new I had issues with trust and intimacy and this new level of our relationship would surely mean sex. When I managed to tell him everything he told me that he admired my ability to live my life regardless. He had no idea of the daily struggle to force myself to do so. We choose the words together and now they are my constant reminder that I only have one life and I cannot afford to waste it on fears and regrets. 

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Body Modification And It's Effect On Self Esteem

It's sad, but true : many women have very low self esteem, especially when it comes to their bodies. We are bombarded by images of celebrities with perfect bodies and we believe that we must reach that unattainable benchmark. We never stop to think that those images are photo-shopped and that these women have surgery and expensive treatments to make them look that way. Women are constantly looking for ways to boost their self esteem and as a result I don't think any woman can honestly say they have never indulged in one form of body modification or another. Whether we choose make up; hair color; tattoos; cosmetic surgery or a body piercing at the end of the day we are all customizing our bodies to try and build up our self esteem. But does it actually work?

Confucius is quoted to have said, 'True quality of life comes from a lasting harmony between the body and the mind.' This can be interpreted as saying when you look good – you feel better. This is true. How many of us can wake up feeling rotten then slicked on a bit of foundation and lipstick to give us a little boost? How many of get a spring in our step when we wear that one killer outfit? In fact, a recent study found that make up and hair dye does have a direct positive effect on self esteem. It's not about vanity. Its about confidence.

So, does that mean that those who indulge in body modification such as piercings and tattoos are also just boosting their own self esteem? I think to a certain extent we can say that this is actually very true. After all, many of the reasons citied for such practices are for the aesthetic appeal or to fit in with a certain culture. Isn't that the same as boosting your confidence? A study conducted by Carroll & Anderson revealed that people who have moderate to heavy tattoos are noticeably more self confident. In addition to this, tattoo artists say that the majority of customers are getting a tattoo as a symbol that they have moved on from some negative aspect of their life.

So does body modification improve your self esteem? I think so!

Nipple Piercing & Breast Feeding

One of my friends totally shocked me this week by going to get her nipples pierced! She isn't some hardcore body modification nut, she only has her ears pierced and she has never even expressed even the remotest interest in nipple piercing or any other piercing. In fact the odd time the topic has come up she seems to be a bit uncomfortable or grossed out, so it was definitely something of a shock when she came over all excited and whipped open her shirt to show me!!

Nipple piercing isn't something I have considered myself, despite my other body piercings, so I was really interested in how it went. She told me that as long ass there are no complications they would heal up in 2 to 4 months. That seems like a really long time, but I guess it isn't really. The piercer did warn that some people find it is about 18 months before they heal properly.

The piercer did mention something interesting to her afterwards. I guess they were talking about if they had kids and stuff and my friend said no but she would like some in future. The piercer suddenly said, “well you can still breastfeed.” She thought it strange at the time, but talking about it we agreed that it is actually something you probably never think about when getting a nipple piercing, but once we did we kind of leaned towards thinking you wouldn't be able to! So we looked up some information and so long as it's done properly and the milk ducts are not damaged you can easily breast feed although you do need to take the jewellery out obviously.

Is Women's Intuition A Myth?

Unless you have been living under a rock all of your life, you will have hear the term “women's intuition” used at some tie or another referring to the almost psychic abilitiy women seem to have when it comes to certain thinks. Now us women already know that we are superhuman, but is women's intuition real or just an urban myth?

Recent research into nonverbal communication has discovered that on the whole, the female gender is much better at reading facial expressions or emotions than their male counterparts. This means that women are much more likely to pick up on the emotions of others via subtle messages sent by the body. Women are also better at express emotions through facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Men, on the other hand, are masters of the 'poker face' and are able to mask emotions. The research also indicates that women are more empathic than men and are more open to others emotional indicators. All of these factors combine to give the impression that women are equipped with this ability to divine what others are feeling and thinking.

The study has suggested that this ability developed because throughout history, women have had a lower level of social status and so they spent more time observing the goings on and gradually became more capable of reading nonverbal communications. It is also possible that the ability is intended to help women care for their children and to select a potential mate. However, there are plenty of men who are just as skilled in reading and communicating emotions and there is evidence to suggest that it is possible to improve your own nonverbal communication over time.

So in conclusion, women's intuition does seem to be something real, however; rather than a super natural power it is merely down to the differences in how the sexes process emotional communication and nonverbal skills.